Sadness

Whenever I feel overwhelming pain, I have two choices:
1. I can hold it inside and bottle it up and know that I'll never be alone in my house to cry alone.
or
2. I can lock my door, shut the blinds on my window and hide beneath my covers. My blankets offer a sense of security that nothing can penetrate. I can sob those terrible sobs that rack the body and make great heaving sounds, but regardless, I am alone. I can hide underneath the darkness and be alone and with my own privacy to feel my own feelings at their fullest.

Most of the times I end up choosing option one. But for the past two times that I have felt the feelings of crying rise up inside of me, I have chosen option 2.
There is something so freeing about releasing my emotions in one tear-filled moment when I can be completely alone and without people barging into my room. And once the feeling passes, I can continue on with my merry life contemplating things and trying to be deep and insightful. (Hahahah! Whenever I tell people what I'm really thinking about why people do certain things or wear certain clothing, they are shocked and tell me I'm really deep. But whenever I tell someone they're deep, I mean it in a very caustic way. It's very surprising :).)
Which brings me to today.
Today in my horrible Physical Education class (or L'EPS as I would rather call it because French is wonderful!) I was in a contemplative state. I was talking to one of my friends who I'll call Ginger and she was looking up ahead at this one girl in front of us. This girl had squeezed herself into jeans about four sizes to small and a top that had her arms and torso practically busting out of it. Needless to say, the sight was not great for the eye.
Ginger was shocked at the girl's clothes and very disgusted. "Why would she ever think that was cool? Her boobs look like they're about to explode out of her shirt!"
"Well, judging from how tight her clothes are and her body type (thick and short) she doesn't appear to have much confidence at all. She probably wears her clothes so tight to get attention and possible appreciation for her body." I felt that this is something that is easy to figure out, something that people talk about in books about depression and cutting all the time. Needless to say, Ginger just looked at me:
"Wow, that's deep."
"Thanks," I roll my eyes.
Though regardless of the fact that I can only really be truly when I feel most lonely, I do like the perspective.

YOUTUBE!!!!!

Have you ever noticed in response videos to funny youtuber's how people start out saying...

Person: Ummmm.....

*Pause, pause, pause*

Person: Like, I ttly agree wit u shane! <3>

*Pause, Pause, pause*

Person: Like ttly cool vid! XOX i luv u!!!!

Like this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVcJQl5uV-E&feature=response_watch

And this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_skAfckUGoQ&feature=related

What is with people and responding oh so crappily?

At least have something interesting to say other than "Like, eh my gaaawd," and then playing with their overly hair sprayed hair. This is why some people are not famous on Youtube. They have absolutelythismuch interesting stuff to say, which is NOTHING.

How boring is it to watch some girl (or a very emo boy) take a grainy little film of themselves talking in a monotone? UGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

This brings me to another topic: crazy, obsessive fans.

This is Youtube, people. Do you need to make little picture montages to some stupid song with their faces rolling across the screen?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvKyGrGQZCI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnHuvZmYyf0&NR=1

Reasons for why they did something in their video?

WHY WHY WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THIS IS FUNNY??????

THERE ARE COUNTLESS THINGS THEY COULD BE DOING, BUT NO JUST OBSESSIVELY STALK THIS PERSON AND PAINSTAKINGLY MAKE A VIDEO FOR OTHERS TO SALIVATE OVER.

AGGG!!!!

Ultraviolet Lemons

This blog, Ultraviolet Lemons is purely for me (Sabina), fashion, and things that pop into my brain.

I was walking in Whole Foods around the checkout areas that were filled with hip (is that even defined as a cool word anymore? Not really considering how overused it is) pierced cashiers and granola-type grandmas. Me, idly wandering and then-looking straight at me-was this month's Elle.

It made me look for a split second longer because there was Miley Cyrus (yet again) on the cover in this Mistress of Pain outfit. Black alligator skin painted on blazer opened so wide that you could operate open heart surgery. Wearing an a black pushup bra with two cross necklaces-as if that was someway to balance the fact that they were resting in her cleavage-and a delicate, near makeup-less looking face with straightened hair. Her outfit and accessories remind me of Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts plays a hooker with a heart of gold. Its like Elle thinks that if he give her some crosses and a non-whore complexion it will balance out. Blegh, nastickers.

But the question that pops out even as I talk to the checkout lady is: How will Miley Cyrus not get burned for this like she did with her April 2008 Vanity Fair photo shoot? And yet the only comments I find are ones like: Ohmgee, Miley looked amazing! She rocked that black leather. And so on and so forth. The readers comments were different and more what I thought. She looked like a whore; She's super slutty...you get what I mean.

When Cyrus was shown in Vanity Fair with barely a smudge of makeup on her face, her hair wet, and a bare back people were astounded. A 15 year-old girl baring her back?! They probably shrieked. What a prostitute, that hussy, the slut.

What century do we live in anyway? The 21st century. Where a girl entering high school who walked around in the smallest of shorts that they edge on being underwear and tank tops two sizes to small does not actually getting shot disgraceful glares or promises of telling their parents. Miley Cyrus gets yelled at for exposing her-possibly the most sexual non-sexual place on the body, ditto the neck-back. But for this sex kitten outfit and cleavage are just applauded. How f'ed is that?

It just goes to show you how conservative our country is. If a man goes around without his shirt, people will either ogle him or look away in disgust. But if a woman goes around without her shirt on, with her chest exposed to the world she is labeled as a slut or someone who wants some ass.

Why was Cyrus (practically) yelled at for baring her back, which in my opinion is far more sexy than exposing a mile of cleavage and gets a get out of jail free card when she shows her tatas?

Whore or art?